Magistrate: Madge uses traditional pronouns.
Mahogany: A marriage arrangement for forest communities.
Malarkey: We may just have to accept it.
Malediction: A language style not recognized by those using female diction.
Mammoth: A large species of moth.
Mangoes: a. When he’s ready b. When his wife tells him c. When he can sneak out.
Malaise: A bland sandwich spread.
Malcontent: What you find at the local plaza.
Malediction: A language style not recognized by those using female diction.

Malice: a. Intention Deficit Disorder b. You don’t understand his name until you finaly get to meet him.
Mambo: alt. Mumbo, Mombo: Rambo’s mother
Mammogram: The largest of telegrams.
Mandate: It doesn’t mean that anymore.
Mansplain: a. It’s a guy thing. (He’s hoping you won’t ask any more questions.) b. Symptom of Man Answer Disorder, (M.A.D.)
Manypaws: The age at which women begin adopting dogs and cats.
Market Analyst: The person who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn’t happen today. – Wiley’s Dictionary
Mars: The long-awaited sequel to the Donner party. The New Devil’s Dictionary.
Margarita: She’s an honest and satisfying drink. Not like Martin is.
Mass Hysteria: Someone spiked the communion wafers. Wiley’s Dictionary
Martinet: Diminutive Martian.
Mathemachicken: The chicken who eggsells at counting her eggs.
Math Puns: The first sine of madness.
Meagre: OK! You’ve got my vote.
Meanderthal: Our evolutionary ancestor who spent most of his time just wandering around and not doing much of anything
Meatball: Where pasta goes to get sauced.
Mediocracy: A system of government we never quite understood until now.
Megahertz: Extremely painful
Meldrop: Really! Not the best pick.
Memory: a. Sure to be at its best when you are trying to sleep. b. The facility by which we . . .er . . . Now where was I?
Mendicant: When it’s time to just throw that sock in the trash
Menopause: If it’s MENopause, why do women have to endure it? Life ain’t fair.
Mental Illness: Proximate cause of Womental Illness.
Meology: Feline tactic for sympathetic response
Mercurochrome: That wonderfully comfortable antiseptic your mother found to replace that awful iodine.
Metaphysics: The science of explaining something without having to understand it.
Metaverse: a. A virtual world, first settled by psychiatric patients, into which we have now been chucked by Zuck. b. Now that we’ve come this far, is anyone else concerned that the Semitic root of the word meta is death?
Michelin Man: When your spare tire Dunlops over your belt.
Microaggression: Serious personal attack on one’s solipsistic integrity
Microbiologist: Small scientist.
Middle Age: That awkward period in life when you are no longer too young to care, but not old enough to know better.
Migraine: OW! why can’t this one be for you?
Mind: A terrible place for spelunking.
Minimoon: Minor wardrobe mishap.
Minks: a. Diminutive ecclesiastics. b. Capitol of Belarus
Minute: A division of time, the length of which varies according to which side of the door you are on.
Misadventure: What happened at girls’ night out.
Misapprehension: That feeling of angst when you discover your girlfriend is in the slammer.
Mischief: Your girlfriend when she finally puts one over on you.
Misfortune: a. When your girlfriend cleans up at craps. b. When you get cleaned out at craps.
Misguided: Unburdened by what has gone before.
Misinformed: Your girlfriend after you told her where you went last night.
Misstent: I know you think you understand what you believe I said, but I’m not sure if you realize that what I said was not what I meant.
Mistake: Dog got it.
Mistakes: Everyone makes them. It’s how you weasel out of them that makes the real difference.
Mobster: Aggressive crustacean.
Moculator: This dangerous animal was thought to be extinct until we captured one and locked it safely in this ca . . .
Money Laundering: The result of not checking pockets before washing. Legal ownership transfers to the person doing the laundry.
Money Tree: That special branch of your local bank.
Monkey: Kind of like a monk.
Monstrance: A real word. Were you to learn the definition, you would not be able to sleep. So, we’ll just leave it right there, OK?
Monstrosity: Urban Renewal
Moot: Quiet North American ruminant.
Mopery: The crime of exposing yourself to a blind person.
Moraine: Seattle weather forecast
Morass: a. Symptom of overeating. b. Often a result of using the refrigerator door as a night light.
Moron: Recently discovered fundamental atomic particle. Most commonly found in areas of human activity.
Moreover: Better than dog. It’s more dog.
Motherboard: a. Attitude adjustment switch. b. Family processing unit.
Moth ers Day: Perhaps the best example showing the importance of proper word spacing and correct spelling.
Mucus: Often said to be normal. Actually, it’s snot,
Multitasking: Able to screw up several projects at once
Mutate: What happened to the Mistake.
Mutant: Cross between dog and insect.
Mute: To employ aggressively peaceful tactics to silence contradictory speech.
Mustache: OWW!! I’ll bet that hurts!
Myopia: I’d prefer it were yours.
Mysterectomy: Revealing the last page of the whodunit.
Mystic: A person who is puzzled before the obvious, but understands the non-existent.
Mytyh: Femal moth.