Baby Broomers: Born in hard times, and we’ve been sweeping up after you ever since.
Bacon: It won’t solve any of your problems, that’s why we have beer.
Bad: Really now, how much worse can it get?
Bad Rap: John Denver concert.
Bad Trip: a. 2020 year in review. b. 20-21 now; !!!c. Is it over yet?
Balderdash: A race for the follically challenged. – Uxbridge English Dictionary .
Bald Spot: A condition found in men who have outgrown their hair.
Ballot: The means by which citizens assume a voice in their government.
Band Aid: A fundraiser for an orchestra.
Bandicoots: 50 years, a milestone that prompts memories and laughter at the class reunion, reminding us of friendships that withstand the test of time.
Barista, Baristo, Bariste, etc.: Apprentice barrister, blending the art of crafting coffee with the pursuit of justice.
Barometer: A clever device that will save you from looking out the window.
Baroque: Insolvent, but not without grandeur.

Battery: Energizer Bunny’s criminal offense.
Beached Whale: The reference to my mother-in-law that got me banned from Twitter. – Wiley’s Dictionary
Beacon: Embark on a life of crime.
Beanstalk: Borborygmic vocalization.
Bedlam: Best place for nocturnal escape.
Bedrench: Minor injury often sustained while prone, please don’t ask, a condition that somehow becomes a running joke among friends over time.
Bedrock: Most inopportune time to knock on the door,only to find that the most inconvenient moments often lead to the best stories.
Behavioral Norms: A set of social interactions that the largest number of people deem to be the least insane.
Berated: What you got when you just took a chance on Netflix.
Besmirch: To maliciously ascribe to others guilt for those sins you have neither the opportunity nor temerity to commit.
Beauty: It’s in the eye of the bee holder.
Biased: (__|__) Seriously in need of an extra-large chair.
Bibble: To nibble one’s kibble with dribble.
Bible: Official arbiter ambidextrously applied by those hoping you will neither have read nor attempted to understand its contents. See Science.
Bicycle: Disgendered two-wheeler.
Bidenism: The speaker’s nightmare that occurs when one begins a sentence without having the words necessary to complete it.
Big Picture, The: What you got when you studied at Collage.
Bigot: a. Largest one of the Ott brothers. b. One who is obstinately and zealously attached to an opinion you do not entertain. c. That ingrate who spends so much time talking about himself, there is no time left for me to talk about myself.
Bilingual: Able to hoodwink in a language the other person does not understand.
Billows: That doesn’t mean you will collect, though.
Biologists: Nothing special, just one bunch of cells looking over another bunch of cells.
Birth Control: A family choice simply a matter of condom knowledge.
Bitcoin: a. A digital asset of inestimable value. b. A digital asset of inestimable value.
Blabbergasted: When you have no solution for the circumlocution.
Black Friday: Because, only in America will we trample our fellow shoppers for sales, exactly one day after thanking God for what we already have.
Blameless: Unmarried.
Blue Grass: Result of accidentally rolling over a Smurf picnic with your lawn mower – Wiley’s Dictionary
Blushing: A trait that politicians have learned to avoid.
Boarder Crisis: When your tenant can’t be evicted.
Bold Faced Lie: A LIE WRITTEN IN ALL CAPITALS FOR MORE TRUTHINESS.
Bomb: The device by which the protestor fails to make his point.
Boomerang: You got a call from grandpa.
Booze: Doesn’t have the answer. So, we’ll just have to ask better questions.
Borborygmi: Language spoken by those living on the alimentary canal, a humorous reminder that even our bodies have a voice and story to tell.
Boullionaire: One who’s stock is invested in soup.
Braggart: The skill of polishing your own apple.
Brain: a. Cerebral organ known to have a mid of its own. b. A wrinkly blob found in the heads of most humans, long considered to be the center of cognition and the origin of motive. Neuroscience has recently discovered that brains are, in fact empty, prompting the question “What the hell is going on here???”
B-Rated: What you got when you just took a chance on Netflix.
Bratwurst: The very naughtiest of children – The Uxbridge English Dictionary.
Bravefart: We all know it’s you; you might as well admit it.
Breakneck Speed: The speed at which the sound of a siren produces the first lawyer – Wiley’s Dictionary –
Bribery: Nothing to worry about. It’s only a venal sin.
Brimstones: Stone Age family famous for living on the edge.
Broadband: The definition that got me banned from Facebook.
Broadway: The most derogatory women’s restroom sign ever thought up.
Broccoli: Have you ever thought it might not like you either?
Brouhaha: When the IPA makes your day.
Brutish: Excessively British.
Btfsplk: a. Surname of a character from Dogpatch, always a harbinger of misfortune.
b. Language spoken by government officials, always a harbinger of misfortune.
Buccaneer: Way too much to pay for corn – Anonymous –
Bumpkin: Fratricide.
Burnish: A little on the burnt side, but not so bad, just slap on some butter and jam.
Burn Notice: What you receive from the fire department when tax delinquent – Wiley’s Dictionary
Buoyant: Floating bug.
But: Word preceding a long explanation of why what I said is not what I meant.
Buttress: Bottom half of the fur bikini.